To Love Myself

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Brené Brown says,
We cultivate love,
when we allow 
our most vulnerable 
and powerful 
selves
to be deeply seen
and known, 
and when we honor
the spiritual connection
that grows
from that offering 
with trust, 
respect, 
kindness 
and affection.  

She says,
We can only love others 
as much 
as we love ourselves.
 

So, I’m going to try 
to love all of me,
to love the lines on my face
and, also, to love 
my dreams of Botox, 
being pink and shiny, 
soft and pretty.

my gray hairs
and the pretty highlights
my hairdresser gives me
over long talks 
about meditation and books,
Christmas presents and children,
parents dying.

to love my strength
my strong shoulders
and ability to stand up tall, 
to lift heavy things, 
to balance,
to sit for a week in meditation 
with no pain.

to also love my back
that sometimes goes out
shooting sharp jolts
when I move,
the fold of skin 
that falls over the line 
from the c-section
when my daughter came.

to love how I pee my pants 
whenever I cough or laugh
too hard
because of my strong
determination 
to push my son out 
in birth

to love every person 
I used to be
all the mistakes I made 
and ugliness I caused,
wrapping it all up in a soft blanket
and lying it down 
on the warm sand
by the vast ocean waves.
Finally, loving myself enough
to let it go.

to love the many times 
I got it right.
I paid all my bills
and took time to recycle.
I turned out lights,
was kind to my husband,
read to babies,
burned candles,
traveled to other countries 
on foot,
or through people, 
friends, 
books

to love my introversion,
my close friends,
my dislike of
being around people 
that talk to much 

to love how I keep going,
keep sweeping floors,
and hugging children,
keep watering plants, 
eating chocolate and kale,
drinking coffee in the morning,
texting old friends,
buying my husband socks,
making sure my kids eat vegetables 
and practice the piano.

to love
my breath
my heartbeat
my skin
my voice
everything 
that makes me
alive.

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